Travel Day in Haiti- An Original

Travel Day

If we plan to leave at five

For this departure we will strive

But don’t freak out if we are late

‘Cause we’ll probably leave at eight

You can stand or you can sit

Either way it’s a bumpy trip

Expect trauma to your calves

And for the bench to break in half

The bumps will turn to craters

And the pain will become greater

Your stride will turn to limping

And you’ll need ice for your bruised kidneys

But fear not for tomorrow

For the fun surpasses sorrow

When we reach our destination

You’ll have an angelic sensation

You will sing and you will dance

And laugh so you’ll wet your pants

But the happiness won’t last

Because that truck will take us back

So through the bumps we’ll ride again

As if the pain will never end

But at last we’ll reach the beach

Where there are cushions for our cheeks

So sleep tight and like a baby

For tomorrow will be waiting

And the bumps haven’t gone away

So our calluses will stay

Amen.

My new title: Windshield Wiper

I had to make a trip to the bank the other day to take out some money. It was one of those rare days that I got to drive the truck rather than being driven by my chauffer. Yes, I have one of those.

My record continues in the context of my very presence destroying every working part of the vehicles I drive. Although it is NOT yet rainy season, it poured cats and dogs that day and alas, my wipers would not turn on. I had to take off the shorts I had on under my skirt and stop every 50 yards to wipe the windshield. Then I tried to have one of my Haitian workers lean over the cab and wipe it while I drove......with my shorts. That didn't make things any easier because he could only reach the top four inches.

So I stopped in the middle of who-knows-where with Haitians in a dirt-and-stick hut all yelling "Give me one dolla! Give me one dolla!" at me. They laughed as I ripped a bush from the ground, stripped it bare and tied my detached wiper blade to it with my key lanyard.

I drove for an hour wiping the rain from my own windshield with my left arm out the window, shifting up and down over the "roads", steering and honking as I passed the other trucks, which is a must here in Haitiland.

I was just waiting til we hit the paved road and I could stop shifting so often, but as soon as we hit the paved road, and I mean the VERY SECOND we hit it, God had a good laugh and stopped the rain.

Hilarious.