Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Our New Digs

After seven months of living inside the schoolyard with children everywhere, all the time, no privacy, constant noise, it's a dream-come-true to have a room with a breeze and open space at the beach property.

It's a whole new way of life with the whole team here. Dee's been looking out for me, letting everyone know to let me be when I sneak away for some desperately overdo time alone. I've tossed rocks at the ocean all by myself, not a soul within fifty yards of me. For months I've had people at my side, which can be good or bad, depending on your personality. For me, it just added to the infecting loneliness I'd been feeling for so long. I wanted companionship, but at the same time I wanted solitary confinement. I think what it all came down to was detaching and taking time to pray out loud knowing that only my Father could hear me. That one little thing turns out to have more value to me than I ever knew.

I value that time now for what it should have been to me all along- necessary. That time is necessary for mental sanity, emotional bearing, spiritual renewal. I have never known that more than I do at this very moment.

So now I relish. I relish in shutting my door and not being disturbed, in reading and napping without constant perusal, in working, eating, drinking and sleeping on my own schedule, and in speaking English and having those in my presence understand every word.

I am enjoying this new life. It's still adventurous. It's still challenging. It's still wonderfully complex. But it's become something now that's never been before- more than bearable, less than spoiling- it's become comfortable. I know that in spiritual terms that word may carry negative connotations. But at this point, I'll take comfortable over what it previously was any day.

Much love,
C

Preview: I believe I owe you a "Joy of Giving: Part 2". Be on the lookout.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

That Look

Now that Lonia is in our midst again, I have had countless opportunities to look in those eyes that are too big for the body that holds them. Dee has spoken over and over of the fire in that little girl's eyes. But it's different to hear about it and now to see it for myself.

It's no matter what kind of look I give her, whether it is stern or gentle, full of panic or laced with joy, she always answers back with that same mysterious look, like she's got wisdom behind those eyes that I'll never touch.

Granted, there are those comical moments when she tries to imitate my features before I realize which ones I'm wearing. But when it's just her watching, looking, observing, searching, even silently replying to a statement I've made, she's got that look- that awesome, innocent, deep little look.

Gives me goosebumps everytime.

Dee can't quit repeating that this little fireball is especially special. She's known it for awhile. I'm just catching on. And for the both of us, it feels like God's working a little momentum into play. Care to join in the fun?

Much love,
C

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Team of Friends

The team that visited last week is the same team that I have lead the last two years. Talk about a switch in role-play! I knew all but two of the girls that came personally so, after five months of fairly lonely circumstances, you can imagine how ecstatic I was to have a group of friends around.

It started out as the normal airport chaos. But this time I got to run the other end of it. Before, all I had to do was usher the girls around and wait for Dee's orders. This time I was negotiating and arguing and giving orders in Creole and driving and, well, you get the idea. I'm sure they were slightly taken aback.

And what better way to end a day of chaos than with a little more chaos? To say it simply, the truck broke down. Not only did it break down, it broke way down. The head gasket. It broke. Big time. So we pulled the little truck home by way of the big truck, which was just recently fixed. Did I mention that we had just replaced the clutch in the little truck THE DAY BEFORE all this happened? All I have to say is, Dorce Ministries will think twice before putting on the team someone who's very aura makes vehicles' entrails crumble.

Nonetheless, the team of the ladies from Hannibal-LaGrange College was more than happy to join us for the adventure. The week was spent telling stories and laughing and travelling and laughing. We made visits to four of our main locations- Carries, Cupois, Verrette and Montrouis. About four hundred kids got gifts of toys, food, candy, pencils, etc. The week was wonderful in every way I could have expected.

One of my favorite things to share was the testimony that this is not supernatural work for supernatural people. I know that most short-term student missionaries think that only special people are qualified for the work. I know that sometimes missionaries are put on a pedastal. But I got to tell them and prove to them that they're all candidates by saying that a year ago I was in their seat. I was a student leading a week-long mission trip. I was a college girl. A year ago. I'm a 23-year-old single gal. My qualifications are not exceptional. I have barely passed the stage they're in now.

That's what makes this whole situation so extraordinary. I have no idea why God chose me for this position at this time instead of someone else. But I guarantee that if He's done it with me, He can and will do it with whichever person in whichever place for whichever reason He wants to. If this has proved anything to me so far, it's that God doesn't need me.

The whole week was overwhelming and wonderful. And now we're back down to business.

Thanks for being with me for all this. It's a very big deal.

Much love,
C