No More Jokes

Question: How many Haitians does it takes to get a dump truck stuck in a ravine?
Answer: Usually just one, but this time it was two.

Question: How many Haitians does it take to attempt to pull a dump truck out of a ravine?
Answer: 56...on the first day.

Question: How many days does it take to pull a dump truck out of a ravine in Haiti?
Answer: 2

Question: How many Haitians does it take to actually pull a dump truck out of a ravine?
Answer: 27 on the second day.

Question: How many Haitians refused to listen to Crash throughout the entire ordeal?
Answer: 56+27=83

Question: How many 1/2-inch steel cables does it take to pull a dump truck out of a ravine in Haiti?
Answer: 1/2-inch steel cables aren't strong enough.

Question: How many times does a 1/2 steel cable need to break in half before 56 Haitians and one American finally realize that 1/2-inch steel cables aren't strong enough?
Answer: 6

Question:How many friggin-huge chains does it take to pull a dump truck out of a ravine in Haiti?
Answer: Only one, praise God.

Question: How many times when the camera malfunctions and misses the best part of trying to pull a dump truck out of a ravine in Haiti does it take to really tick Crash off?
Answer: Only a few.

Question: How many times did Crash praise God after He kept the truck from tipping over?
Answer: stopped counting after 18.

Questions: How many people think that if they'd done it their way in the first place the dump truck would have pulled out of the ravine before lunch on the first day?
Answer: 83 Haitians and one American named Crash.

Either way, it's out and I can breathe again.

Hope you enjoyed that.

Love.
-C

Book Quotations I Love

A vision without a task makes a visionary.
A task without a vision is drudgery.
A vision with a task makes a missionary.
-Dunning
As quoted in "Spiritual Leadership" by J. Oswald Sanders


Through prayer you can accmpany any missionary to remote parts of the earth. Through prayer you can walk through crowded bazaars, minister in steaming jungles, feed millions of starving men, women and children, hungry for bread for their bodies and for the Bread of Life.
-Wesley Duewel
"Touch the World Through Prayer"


The person accepting the Lord's call into the ministry is agreeing to live in a world of unfinished tasks. You are literally being sentenced to live beyond yourself. It is by its very nature impossible to live this life and do this work in your own strength. You will develop a strong prayer life or you will not survive. It's as simple as that.
-Joe McKeever
As quoted in "Prayer: The Timeless Secret of High-Impact Leaders" by Dave Earley


All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds awake to find it was vanity. But the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, that they may act their dreams with open eyes to make it possible.
-T.E. Lawrence
As quoted in "The Leadership Genius of Jesus" by William Bausay III


I wonder why it is that everywhere the apostle Paul went they had revolution, and everywhere I go they serve a cup of tea.
-some Anglican bishop
As quoted in "The Winning Attitude" by John Maxwell


(In the context of speeding up a learning process...)
When God wants to make an oak tree, He takes a hundred years. When He wants to make a squash, He requires only two months.
-James Garfield
As quoted by Maxwell


Let's discipline ourselves so that words are few and full.
-Richard Foster
"Celebration of Discipline"


Parents hold steady through the teen years, knowing that their children will emerge at the other end human once again!
-Richard Foster
same book...this one makes me laugh every time

I made up a joke

Question: How many Haitians does it take to change a lightbulb?

Punchline: How would I know?

A Haitian Wedding

4 am...woke up

5 am...packed my red dress and hit the road

6 am...drove as far as possible 'til we hit a ravine and had to hike from there

7 am...couldn't see a trail ahead, but saw a man leading a donkey which was carrying a pig, all being chased by a dog, so I figured we were headed somewhere towards civilization

8:30 am...arrived for the wedding and changed into the red dress

9 am...wedding at which I turned out to be the only photographer so people pushed me towards the bride and groom during all the important parts and made me sit in a chair on the stage...in the red dress

11 am...3o minute hike farther up the mountain to the newlyweds' new home

11:01 am...all the children of that and all other surrounding mountains spotted the white girl (me) and latched on for the hike, petting my arm hair and telling me I'm pretty

12:30 pm...arrived at the house drawing more attention than the couple because of the mob attached to me

1 pm...Wilckly started his toast as the best man

2 pm...Wilckly finished his toast (that's a joke)

2 pm for real...sat down to eat the wedding feast which consisted of rice and beans, pickley, pork, beet salad and all the other Haitian delicacies with exotic fruit like papaya, mango, pinapple and oranges- all decorated beautifully with cheese curls stuck to the end of toothpicks (that's not a joke). They made the shape of a heart with the cheese curls- how romantic.

2:30 pm...looked on as the whole place was attacked by people trying to get to the food. I saw rice and beans and cheese curls all flying in the air over a group f people crowding the table. I thought that if that was my wedding I would've cried, but the bride and groom just sat calmly nibbling their cheese curls.

3 pm...started the hike down the mountian in the red dress

5 pm...arrived at the truck which was waiting for us at the infamous ravine

5:01...the boys laughed at me because I was wearing a red dress...with my soccer shorts hanging lower than the hem of the dress.

5:30...chugged a coke

6 pm...bucket bath

7 pm...went to sleep and had nightmares about cheese curls